


Day He Left, The

by spookyawards_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: post-episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-28
Updated: 2003-08-28
Packaged: 2019-04-27 06:35:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14419668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyawards_archivist/pseuds/spookyawards_archivist
Summary: Scully recalls the night before Mulder disappeared, and a poen he left for her which she found the next day.





	Day He Left, The

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Spooky Awards](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Spooky_Awards), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [SpookyAwards' collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/spookyawards/profile).

 

The Day He Left.

## The Day He Left.

### by Pattie.

Title: The Day He Left 

Author: Pattie 

Rated: G 

Category: MSR, SA 

Spoilers: Nothing Happened Today 

Summary: Scully remembers the day she last saw Fox Mulder before he went missing. She remembers it all too often at this juncture, so her journal is her only refuge. 

Disclaimer: Mulder, Scully, William, The Lone Gunmen and the whole fandamly belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and Fox Studios. Do we as North Americans still own our own feelings? Good. Nice to know something's left. 

**DANA SCULLY'S APARTMENT**  
**GEORGETOWN.**  
10:00 p.m. 

As I begin this entry, William has settled after a very trying day. His first tooth is trying to cut through and my poor little guy is in pain. 

Tonight, I realize I've been in so much pain for the six months Mulder has been gone. Fleeting anonymous internet encounters, through anonymous temporary accounts no longer encourage me. I see myself in the mirror in the morning looking truly drawn, lost, depressed. I know he'll keep himself safe and I pray so for him each night. 

He says to keep William close to me so he can feel him, too. I'm planning to wean William in another month or so because my new partners need my help. I need to stay working to keep my mind occupied. My mother will be around guarding William as I put the work clothes back into service. Thank God she doesn't despise me after all the years of losses, pain, worry and suffering. 

She says Mom's never run out of love: they refill themselves everyday. And so I find my love for William growing and filling me up to overflowing. My love for Mulder is permanent and still growing. 

After I brought William home, and sttled in, the Lone Gunmen visited me briefly, bringing gifts and well-wishes. Mulder and I discussed the dispostion of his belongings and furniture. Luckily, I get to look after the fish.While they were doing the nighttime manouvering, Mulder stayed by my side. We talked all night, I fed William, and Mulder was lying beside me as I slept between three-hour interval feedings. 

When I awoke, it was 6:37 in the morning, and he was gone. We said our good-byes all night. I was still healing, but I would have loved to have had him completely for one more time before I ever had the chance again. 

The whole day seemed more tearful for me than for William, who only needed his cuddles, feedings and changings. The worst part of all was that I had to say to everyone who called, came to the door or left messages from work: he left. That's all. He left. Did I know where he went? No. Did he tell me anything? No. I felt so unfaithful to myself and God lying like that. Perhaps to lie to save a life is not a sin. 

As I wiped my eyes and changed the bedsheets, I found an envelope under a pillow on which he had rested his head hours earlier. 

Dear Dana, 

I can't encourage you enough to my own satisfaction, to show you we will be together and safe again. Please pray for me as I know you always have, always will. I know you'll guard our beautiful son as a mother bear guards her cubs. I am no e.e. cummings, or William Shakespeare, but I want to express my feelings for you the old-fashioned way. I did write it as you slept. 

**IT'S JUST FOR NOW**
    
    
            When I walk through that door
            It's just for now.
            When you feel lost and lonely
            It's just for now.
            Our hearts will pine in angony.
            It's just for now.
            Wherever I go I'll be with you,
            Your heart with mine.
            We're fighting for a future now!
            All will be fine.
    

All the love in my heart to both of you, 

Fox (Daddy). 

To this day I keep that poem with me, even going out with William. When I go back to work, it will be with me. I will even put a copy in our son's baby book and one on the wall in my room in a special frame. 

Each time I feel lost and lonely, I'll remember: It's Just For Now. 

Pattie. 

* * *

Well, I thought Scully deserved a stand alone for a change! 

Would that some of the men in my life would write me poetry. I might swoon!   
  


#### If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Pattie.


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